I slept four hours. I know I dreamed, but I can’t remember what the content was. I was restless all day, pissed after wasting time and gas and spending near an hour on the couch in tears and heaving sobs.
I slept to Naka Naka’s Mundo Harsh, which was cut from the same cloth as Aphex Twin’s SAW II and so was followed by it. These are both dark, unsettling albums, and seemed fitting after the day I’d had. I want to drown in that feeling as much as I can, it’s as close to externalizing what’s in my head as anything is. And then Sraunus’ Vibrant Dead Rock lead to some William Basinski or another, Nocturnes I think it was. I woke up to this but can’t remember anything I heard except for penetrating bass tones. I’ve been holed up for almost two months now and can’t remember anything I’ve done. The days and weeks are as blurred as the melodies I sleep in and the morning’s fog on the river.
There’s no distinctions between things, between time. It’s all somehow getting worse.