the weakest child

i tried to be the babe you held in your arms
no mother are you and no child am i
i killed the weakest one for you, in your place on the altar
left it there and weeping and bleeding it was spilling itself over into the waters
no muse are you my queen is her my bed is empty as ever
even when i am in it
the soulless afterbirth of her love her pain
i killed the weakest child i split open the skulls of us all
my eyes are not the same they have been replaced with flies
i split my mind into everything
into the waters i bathe in the lust
in all she was she is all i could ever want and all that you are not
your tears are nothing like hers
your blood is not her blood
you are no mother your cunt is not her cunt
you are no giver no weaver no sinner i split my mind upon the rocks of this shoreline
spread like her hair across all the earth all its waters
she swims with the nymphs sings with the whales flies with the angels and the flies
she splits her chest open and begs me to be in her
endless giver my weeping lover sleeping in my arms in my bed
hold your keep here in my head
leave me not alone to drink the blood and the ocean and

the tears she is weeping
the tears she has wept
the blood she is spilling
spreading like her voice across all the sky and the ocean of stars
oh my eyes are caves filling with the salted water the blood i taste on this altar
the flies are not dying they are feeding on all this ocean of ours
the whales are singing
my mind is splitting
into the waters i am within her gaping wounds her spreading blood her flowing hair
with the angels and the flies

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