the rushing

there’s a piece of metal somewhere that is destined to be inside me.
if only for a moment its quick home is my flesh, my bone,
my honor. there is nothing to death but to love her;
to meet her unannounced to define her by the strokes of lost touch to reside in her
like she so surely resides in me.
the only warm place i’ll truly ever be. if its only for a moment if i shatter that queen,
if i collapse her to the floor then what will she think of me
but she’s been longing too she wants me like gravity
i am made to be wrapped up like a babe in her motherly blood being unborn being instead inserted
less violent, somehow, than the traditional alternative.
to feel it part my flesh and singe the wound so slight, slipping into sleep like a child slipping into me like my wanting lover
stripping off my fire my smoke my hair cascading all around sopping up blood
as the metal settles it is done with me i am the weakest i have ever been
i am reduced to a mass of flesh dripping wet
you were everything i ever wanted from the flesh
everything i ever dreamed of
everything warm i could ever imagine it to be
i was alive for a moment within you
within you i was a dream i dreamt i held out a hand and let my fingers then more touch the waterfall
clear but shattering of the light cold but warming with the rushing
the flush of your cheeks in my eyes
there is no one like you my lover
my mother my goddess queen coffin
i am a star. one million stars condensed and flung with all the force of their novas straight unto you
i was made for you in fire
i was made for you from fire i leave it all around as i slip out of my royalty and back into the earth
back into the earth
with the rushing
the birds flitting
their wings fire
their caws rise
and they fall

eyes black as dead stars
as slick as blood

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